He doesn't have it at all, thank you very much. It's just... Geez. It was just complicated. And excuse you, Kyle was in college, so that was more appropriate than this. And Shiro was older than him. So was David for that matter. And Eli.

No, the dramatics just go hand in hand with Tommy and guys. Sure he hit on them, sure he liked them, but it was always so much harder to accept that about himself, even when he was out and proud before he started getting involved with them. And the older he got, the more he admitted to himself he wanted substance and not just hook ups.

"I don't know. There was this moment toward the end of the surfing part of his birthday thing yesterday. We were wrestling in the water and I let him pin me and just... There was just something in how he looked at me. And I didn't get it until now, but... NO, it's not possible. He's straight. But then I realized later I'd been flirting with him some and that's so not okay. I'm supposed to be his best friend and his support not... Not checking him out because he's got a bit of muscles he tries to hide because he's all ashamed of his scars."

God. Fuck.

"I compared his scars to Kintsugi. If dude wasn't straight as fuck he might have seriously thought I was coming onto him."